My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
