Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
