I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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