Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i will never coherently bang her
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
