I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
