wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
