bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
