You're completely useless in the revolution.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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