i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
This is the high leading the old right now
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
