I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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