if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
