her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize