Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
