you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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