oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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