So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
