At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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