it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
