Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
