The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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