i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize