just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
