Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
