Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
