Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
