He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
And then my night got REAL pukey
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
