I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
