my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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