She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
