so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
