All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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