WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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