Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
