Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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