if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
