i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Vodka?
Forever.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
