Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
