I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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