I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
