Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
