please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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