I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
