i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
