If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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