See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
