I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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