you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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