I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
