you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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