Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
