we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
