I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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