You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
