Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize