someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
