I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
