I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize