i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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